Another approach from a recent wedding. Shown below where a reading was provided by a friend… 

EXCERPT FROM THE VELVETEEN RABBIT 
By Margery Williams ~

 
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"  

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real."  
 
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.  
 
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."  
 
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"  
 
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." 

Message

What is Real? We could ask that question of marriage – the product of love. And love – as Margery Williams puts so well – is a thing that happens to you.  

I am convinced that love is one of the few things in life that happens without choice. You can no more choose to be in love than you can choose to reject falling in love. We can like the idea of being in love… dream that love is real… but true love is real… it is something that happens to us... It is our fate. Our destiny without choice. 

_____ grew up in a small town and left as soon as she could to see the world. She traveled around the world, lived in the city, came home and took a local job teaching second grade, still searching for what made her happy on a personal level. 

_____ also grew up in a nearby small town, but he stayed around that town all of his life. Married early, had kids early, moved smoothly through life, but God's plan had a different twist in mind. His first wife passed away weeks after delivering their third child. _____ found himself living with his parents again (as did _____) and not knowing what would happen to him or his family. 

Months later, _____'s son _____ entered _____'s second grade class. She felt an instant bond with _____ but was frustrated because he continued to get himself into trouble in class. Consequently, _____ made many more phone calls home than normal - and got to know _____ on a personal level.  

Neither _____ nor _____ knew what was beginning to happen – that something real was about to happen to them - but the relationship that began was a real one, full of real emotion, without the typical games that are often involved. They both knew that with children involved, everything had to be taken very seriously. They also had learned that life was too short to play games...God seemed to have had a plan all along. They were engaged within a year. 

What brings us here today is something real. It is something that happened to _____ and _____ (with a little help from _____ getting into mischief in class).  

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," the velveteen rabbit asked, "or bit by bit?" 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become…” 

And for _____ and _____ it wasn’t instant – but it was sure – and it was without choice – love happened and became real for them. 

_____ and _____ come here today because love is a thing that happened to them. It became. It took awhile. But it became. And like the Skin Horse said… it doesn’t happen too often to people who break easily, or have soft edges, or have to be carefully kept… and love will continue to be real – even after most of your hair has been loved off – your eyes go bad – and your joints begin to fail you. 

_____ and _____: These things don’t matter at all – because your love is real you will never see the other as anything but beautiful - - as the Skin Horse said, “Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”